Hello everyone! So since I’ve been periodically answering Quora questions I figured I would share those answers here at the Level Up Mental Health Blog from time to time.

Here is the first one asked from a teen.

I think that the answer addresses some of the themes we have addressed before such as setting reasonable boundaries/guidelines, setting expectations, and using technology as a motivational tool. Remember there is a balance in parenting of first protection then shifting towards enhancing individuality and self-sufficiency as a child approaches adulthood.

“I often answer this question for the parents, so this will be interesting for me as a child psychiatrist.

“Your parents are putting time restrictions on you because like most parents they care about your health, safety, and happiness. At the age of 16 you are starting to experience the world outside of your family and that’s a good, healthy thing. But realize there is a lot about the world that you don’t know about simply due to the fact that you haven’t experienced it. Your parent’s decisions are colored by their own experiences, hopes, fears, and biases. I believe that your parents are trying the best they can to set you up for success in the future.

“If you do want to get more screentime I suggest you make a plan on how to ask and do so with realistic expectations. Maybe you can get 30 minutes or an hour of extra time. What you need to do is have a reasonable discussion with them when you have a calm, level head. Ask them to talk. Express to them why you think you should have additional time and provide them with evidence that you can be trusted with that extra responsibility/privilege. I imagine your parents have some fear about what that extra time would mean to you as far as an opportunity cost (could you be doing something more productive?). Ask yourself why they might have such a fear? Is it reasonable or is it imaginary? Then ask them what it is that they could be worried about. If you have this adult discussion with them, they may find that you are mature enough for the extra time. If they say “No” then you ask them why (don’t whine) and then ask them what you need to show them in order to gain that trust.

Good Luck.“